How to Build Self Confidence With Women


Nearly every woman will say admit that the biggest factor in instant attraction to a man is his self-confidence. Shy, unassuming men are often looked over for dates, friendships, relationships and even job promotions. Having confidence in yourself is a way to show to the world that you are an interesting, confident man, with something valuable to offer potential mates. If you want to improve your current level of self-confidence, these suggestions will help you to be more confident, outgoing and assertive.

Show Your Passions:

Many men avoid talking to others about things that interest them most, as they don’t believe their hobbies are cool or fascinating enough to discuss. Even if your passion is something that a woman might not relate to, showing something that you have passion is a great way to show them how passionate you might be in other areas as well. Plus, when you speak about a subject you are familiar with, you will have plenty to say, which can, in turn, boost your confidence. Be careful not to bore someone, however, and talk just enough about your interest to have a woman ready to ask more.

Think About Your Great Qualities:

If you walk into a party thinking about how awkward the evening will be, or perhaps how unattractive you look, the night is doomed to fail. Instead, spend 2 minutes before a meeting, date or party thinking about your best qualities. Remind yourself that you have a successful career, have a close relationship with your family, or recently ran your best time in a local road race. Whatever it is that you are proud of, think about it. Having a positive thought in your head can transform your night into one where you are feeling confident and assured.

Practice Socializing With Everyone:

Some men who lack self confidence around women avoid them in most social situations, and then wonder why their dates are unsuccessful. The truth it that practice makes perfect, so the more you socialize with women, the more comfortable you will become in those situations. Start small, by saying hello to the woman in the elevator, or perhaps strike up a conversation with the waitress in your lunchtime restaurant. These encounters are unlikely to fail as they are quite small actions, but they will add up and boost your confidence for the moments that matter, like asking out a woman for a date.

Become Socially Active:

If you spend your days shuttling yourself back and forth between work and home, rarely enjoying any social activities, that might be the problem causing your lack of self confidence. Try to branch out and explore new social activities. Don’t pressure yourself into doing something that you won’t enjoy, but find a sport, club or event that surrounds you with both genders, and that you truly enjoy.

Force Yourself to Say Hello:

The best way to gain confidence around women is simply to practice speaking to them. Spend an afternoon in a mall, or an evening in a bar, and force yourself to say something to at least 10 women. There is no need to deliver pick up lines or even attempt to ask these women on a date. Just say a polite hello, or maybe ask them how their evening is going, or what they have planned for the weekend. The simple act of a successful conversation will be enough to make you feel more confident in your day to day dealings with women.

Girls feel good and secure when they are around confident, cool man. Whenever you exhibit confidence and feel great about yourself, you create an ambiance around you. Girls are impressed with that and are unconsciously drawn close to you.

It is easier said than done. How would you build confidence? The first step to attain any goal is to have a clear mental picture of that goal. Close your eyes and imagine the character of the cool, confident guy you want to be. How does he walk? How does he talk to a girl? How does he impress a girl? How would he respond to or cope with risk and danger? Go through every aspect of his character. Practice this visualization every day for at least 10 minutes. Don’t be hurry through this stage. Without a very vivid picture of who you want to become, you’ll never become him. If you still can’t imagine your goal character, watch some movies of Indiana Jones, James Bond, etc. These are typical examples of cool, confident guys, you should observe and adopt your own version.

The next step is to “act as if”.

Act as if you are that cool, strong guy. Stand as if you had 100 times more confident. Get your chin up and your shoulders back. Imagine that you are smart and attractive. You have nothing to be afraid of. Imagine you are already impressed by girls in the class. How does it feel? After practicing it for a while, you’ll notice that it is becoming part of your own personality. By “acting as if” you’ll start actually to become the guy you want to be.

The next step is to take active control of your thinking. This means that you should no longer let negative thoughts rule in your mind. The way you feel is always reflected by what your thoughts are focusing on. You are shaped by your thoughts. Always remember that “mind over matters”. When you’re focused on positive thoughts, you’re able to stay confident and happy. If you’re always telling yourself, “She wasn’t Impressed with me because I’m broke/not handsome/whatever,” you are hurting your self-esteem, and your self-confident will suffer.

Never let your undisciplined thoughts take control and make you crazy. Don’t let your thoughts go against you and betray your healthy self-esteem.

Another empowering exercise is to take active control of your life. You must be captain of your soul, captain of your life. Sets clear goals for your life. What are your dreams: your carrier, your purpose in life, etc.? Then pursue it. Girls are not your destiny; they are just part of your destiny. Whenever you are in conversations with women, demonstrate your passion and direction for life that you are heading towards. A guy with a definitive purpose is usually impressed by girls.

Remember, there will be days when your mood is not good enough, and confidence is low. In that case, below are some quick confidence booster tips.

    • Do, play, or talk about something you are skillful at. We feel confident in the area where we are competent. Talking about it even for a while can radiate that confidence to another area of your life.
    • Recall your sweet victorious memories – a goal you kicked in a school football field or whatever, it does help. It is also a good idea to take inventory of your good experiences. That will help you recall faster.
    • Read some motivational books that would lift your spirit.

When your inner game is solid, and you have confidence, it would be a lot easier to impress a girl and make her fall in love with you.

Overall, the most important part of gaining self confidence around women is by getting over your fears of rejection or isolation. There are millions of women who you have the opportunity to meet, and not every one will be attracted to you. Don’t let that discourage you! You won’t need millions of women to have a successful relationship – just one. Do your best to involve yourself in activities that you fell proud of, and remember that your passions are attractive to others. With practice you can enter a room and no longer feel uncomfortable, but instead begin chatting with women who will be attracted to your confidence.