Approaching A Woman: 14 Proven Tips and Advice


1. Ask a Question – No matter where you are, you can always ask a woman her opinion. Standing in line at the deli and she’s ordering a Pastrami sandwich? Ask, “Have you had the Pastrami before?” If she has, then the next logical question is, “How is the Pastrami here?” This type of scenario gets the conversation going.

2. Smile – Put her at ease with a sincere, trustworthy smile and NOT an insincere one. A form of silent communication, a smile can be one of the strongest expressions you can give to someone. The person receiving the smile might just open up enough to make it easier for you to approach them.

3. Be Positive – Being positive when approaching women allows you to start the conversation off right as well as find it if she’s got a positive attitude in return. How do you be positive? Change your thoughts to be positive, and your actions will change too. Focus your mind on what you want. Focus your mind on how you’re going to approach women successfully.

4. Steady – Being steady is being sure of yourself. Being steady is being reliable. Being steady is being unwavering in your beliefs. Being steady is being dependable. All traits that you want to work on to strengthen YOU but also offer that special someone.

5. Eye Contact – Look a woman in the eyes to make her know you are listening to her. Don’t be creepy, though. Don’t make her move her head around to get or keep your attention. Communicate with your eyes that you are listening to her right now, and what she has to say is important.

6. Listen – When talking to women, really listen to what they have to say. Don’t be afraid to leave a bit of silence to understand what they’re talking about; however, too much silence can come off as if you deliberately think how you’re going to respond. Ask a question about what she just said or paraphrase what she just said. This sends the message that you are listening to.

7. Nervous – Know that a lot of men have been nervous around women. Don’t let your nerves allow you to miss opportunities meeting and to talk to women. Being nervous can show up as a shaky voice, twitchy eyes, random are, and leg movements. The best way to overcome being nervous is just doing what makes you nervous.

With practice, you’ll watch your nerves settle down. I used to be a musician and would get quite nervous before and during the beginning of performances, but after many performances, it became easy to walk out on stage in front of people and perform. Practice makes perfect.

8. Not Too Close – Don’t move in too physically close when approaching women. This can be a complete turn off for most women and sends signals that you’re movin’ too fast and might be interested in one thing – sex.

9. Be Aware – Women get hit on a lot. Know that a lot of women hear the same thing from men, so stay away from cliche pickup lines. Be aware of what they are interested in and focus on what makes them excited.

10. Join a Group – One of the easiest ways to meet women and easier to approach women is joining groups that everyone has the same interests in. Look at what you’re interested in, and most likely, you’ll find a woman who’s interested in the same things or at least some of the same things. This makes approaching a woman and starting a conversation a lot easier.

11. Humor – Everyone loves jokes, and someone who’s naturally funny can make women laugh. It’s hard for everyone to be humorous, but you can work at it enough to make it work for you while talking to a woman. Know that women tend to like stories that are funny and anecdotal. They don’t like put-downs in-jokes or bashing people as men do. Men like adolescent humor, and most women don’t, period.

12. Confidence – Women love men who are confident. Men who are confident don’t NEED reassurance, or their ego stroked constantly. Look into her eyes in a way that will make her feel confident and not afraid of you. Stay away from thinking images of confidence you’ve seen in the media is the right way to go. Ultimately what you’re trying to exude with your confidence is that she can be confident too when she’s with and around you.

13. Spontaneous – All of the above might make you feel uptight or that everything has to be planned and perfect – NOT. Women also love men to be spontaneous. And I don’t mean spontaneous in a sexual way.

Do you want to go home every night and do the same thing all the time and the same thing on the weekends? DON’T!!

Women love men who can be spontaneous and do something different for a change. Do you want a date night with your woman every Friday night forever? DON’T!!

Change it up and do different things. When you look around your community, town, and state, there are endless things to do that will add spice to your life. Don’t be a stick in the mud.

14. Conversation – Women love to talk, and most men don’t, that’s why it can be hard to approach women and just start talking away. There are plenty of opportunities for you to practice. Again as mentioned above, join groups that you are interested in, and you’ll find women there too. This makes it easier to start conversations with women.

Don’t feel like you have to impress a woman during the conversation. Again if you’ve read this whole article, it’s about her and showing that you are interested in her and what she has to say. There will be plenty of time for you to talk about you when she gets to ask you about yourself.

I’m not advocating being too nice or too friendly or playing it safe. You can be flirtatious, and you can give your opinion about things during the conversation. Don’t be boring.

A great way to learn is watching couples who seem to be having successful conversations and are getting along. Watch how she reacts to the man. If you can get closer to them, watch, learn, and listen.