10 Things I Think I Know About Women


Well, just because I’m late to a party, never let it be said that I don’t show up. Once I crawled out from my gadget cave and saw what Brian and David had written, I knew I’d have to jump in, as well. While this might be a long list if I called it “10 Things I Don’t Know About Women,” I’ll stick to format.

1. She still wants a little magic. There’s no silver bullet here, guys, but the idea is to keep it fresh. Give a little reminder of why she picked you in the first place. (And make no mistake, my friend, she chose you. Not vice-versa.) THESE are the things she tells her friends about.

2. No, there’s no frickin’ explanation for having 6,523 handbags. At least not one that makes sense to people who get by on one wallet every 10 years. So, just nod, smile, and move on.

3. Don’t pretend to care. Care. Or don’t care. She’s not five years old. She can tell when you’re not 100% there. And she’ll get way more annoyed when you try to play it off. To be honest, and deal with the consequences from there.

4. There is no all-encompassing catch-all for what women like. They don’t all like short hair or long hair. Or flowers or candy. Or fixer-uppers or new construction. And a surprising number, fellas, don’t like PINK. So put the trite catalogs and your stealth copy of Cosmopolitan down and just pay attention to her. She’ll let you know what she likes.

5. She appreciates the effort. Whether it’s making breakfast or planning a trip, you may not always get it right, but as long as you’re clearly trying your hardest, you still get points.

6. A lot of the dressing, primping, and fussing over their looks isn’t for us, guys. It’s for the other women. Not to say they’re shallow or insecure (because that’s not the case), it’s just that we don’t really factor into it much. The opinion of another woman saying “nice shoes” means way more than the shrug I give her when she finally walks out of the shoe store and shows them to me.

7. However, they are looking at us. And they’re not shy about it. Look sharp, my friends.

8. (I’m with David on this one.) Sometimes, she just wants to vent. As guys, we always want to fix everything. This flies in the face of a woman’s need to just get things off her chest (stop snickering). So when she starts going on about her crappy co-worker, failed shopping adventure, or ruined plans, don’t try to solve it or tell her how she can handle it better. Sometimes, a “that really sucks,” and a hug will go much further than unsolicited advice. TRUST.

9. Not every woman melts at the sight of a baby. This doesn’t make her cold or heartless any more than it makes you less of a man for not knowing why a “HEMI” is supposed to be cool. By the same token, the mere mention of a baby doesn’t mean her biological clock is ticking, so calm down.

10. Just say, “I’m sorry.” Whether you meant it that way or not, even if you weren’t trying to be mean/hurtful/insensitive/fill-in-the-blank, this is not an argument you will win. So your choice. Start the healing or drag it out for an hour, trying to explain “what you really meant.”