10 Killing Dating Tips For Guys
Once you’ve approached a woman and asked her out on a date, here are some dating tips and advice you can use for the big date.
1. Pick Her Up
Offer to pick her up. A date starts with you offering to pick her up and going out of your way to starting the date. She might want to meet at a safe location instead of you showing up at her place, but make the offer and respect her wishes.
2. Have a Plan
Have a plan for the date. In fact, have a few options sitting in your back pocket that you can use during the date. You don’t want to be so rigid that you only do X, Y and then Z, and then the date’s over.
You want to be in a position to go down a different path if the date’s not going as well as you planned. It’s not about getting something from her, it’s about spending time with her and enjoying that time together. Be in the moment.
3. Start The Conversation
Got a couple of things to talk about? Good, to prepare, make a long list of stuff you’d like to talk about and then start practising.
One way to start a conversation is about the place you have the date at. If it’s a restaurant, start out talking about something you like about it and why. Is your date wearing something nice that you like, tell her you to like it and ask her if there’s a story behind it, especially if it’s jewellery.
To practice, watch and listen to the way couples communicate that are at a restaurant, the coffee shop, etc. What’s working for other people? Listen to the topics men and women discuss who are out and might be dating. Watch how both of them respond. Don’t gawk, just casually observe and make mental notes. You can do this anytime you’re out where couples are hanging out together.
4. Continue The Conversation
If your date brings up anything about what she’s been doing or where she’s been lately, let her talk and make sure you genuinely listen to her and respond by inquiring more about what she’s talking about. “Wow, that sounds interesting, tell me more about that.” If it’s something that provokes feeling in a person ask her,
“How did that make you feel?”
During the date make sure she knows you’re listening by asking her additional thoughts on something she’s talking about, or an opinion of something she’s talking about, or feelings about something she’s talking about. If she talks a lot, respond with your thoughts and feelings about what she’s talking about.
Don’t look like you’re waiting for her to finish talking so you can jump in with your good news or opinion, or where you’ve been on vacation recently. Remember, for every thought you have, a woman has a hundred more going on at the same time. Be authentically interested in what you and she are talking about and how she’s responding.
5. Things NOT To Say or Ask
Hopefully, some of the following make common sense to you. If not, you risk coming off like an idiot with low self-esteem and probably will NOT get a second date.
- “Can I kiss you?”
- “What do you want to do on our date?”
- “Do you like me?”
- “How many guys have you slept with?”
- “I really can’t wait to see you again.”
- “I saw you talking to a mutual friend. He/She’s kind of a jerk.”
- “I just bought an expensive car/house/trip/boat.”
- “How come it took you so long to call me back?”
- “She’s your girlfriend? I dated her for 3 years.”
Get the drift? I hope so. She’s not there for you, and she’s there on a date with you. No bragging or awkward questions, please. Relax and have an enjoyable date with another person.
6. Dating Younger Women
Older men dating younger women isn’t new. If you’re older, it’s okay, a lot of women mature faster than men do and you can often find complete compatibility between a 30 or 35-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman.
I’ve seen men who are 10, 15 and even 20 years older than the woman they are dating or have married and started a family. It all depends on your compatibility. You discover that through time and getting to know one another.
When a younger woman is interested in dating you, most likely she’s interested in a more mature conversation, your experience, your advice, and how you might treat her.
No need to get serious on a first date and start sharing your feelings about her. Keep it to yourself. Better yet, get over it. You’re on a date with a woman, a person, make it fun, exciting, and not boring.
Women find men attractive by the way men make them feel and not solely by the way a man looks. Now, this isn’t an endorsement for you to show up looking and smelling like a bum, I’m just sayin’. Look good, brush your teeth, wear some nice shoes, check out what you’re wearing and improve it.
8. Shy Guys
All the dating rules, advice and guidelines discussed above still apply to the shy guy, it’s just that you need more practice by yourself and with a trusted friend. If you can learn to talk to people who work at the grocery store, coffee shop, etc., you’re on your way to becoming un-shy. Even if it’s one sentence – practice, practice, practice.
Make it an ultimate goal to be able to start a conversation right on the spot anywhere with a woman or a man. You have a lifetime to practice. Who knows, you just might end up with some great friends along the way.
Practice where ever you can in public and don’t get stuck in one spot. If you’re having success practising on a clerk at one store with the same person over and over, that’s not going to get you very far.
Don’t start a conversation with a bunch of facts about yourself and your guy friends. Start by focusing on her and what she thinks, feels, likes, etc. Just make sure you don’t expect her to do all the talking. Again, with practice and time, you’ll become more comfortable with women.
Another way to practice is by typing out a conversation on your computer. Imagine sitting with a woman and having a conversation. Type out how you’d like the conversation to go. Again, you can do this with people at the grocery store, coffee shop, etc.
9. Closing The Date
Don’t leave her hanging. Tell her that you had a nice time and move in a bit closer when you say this. If you want to see her again, have something ready to say about the next date.
It doesn’t have to be about going out to eat again or to the same place you’re at on the first date, it can be meeting at an event somewhere in town that you can pick her up for or meet her at. Ask her if she’d like to go to that event and then close this first date with a hug if things are going good, that’s why you moved in closer.
No kissing on the first date is a good rule of thumb.
As far as the first kiss goes and when should it happen, if there are subsequent dates after the first date then try to get the kiss in by the second or third date if things are going well.
There you go. The above list contains some ideas to get you going. Whether you’re dating a young girl, a single woman your age, or dating older women, there are plenty of ideas, places and things you can do on a date.